Short Nerd Chief

Fun with Google Calculator

Posted by Fred on January 14, 2008

According to Google, my height is 808,023,682 in farshimmelt potrzebie, a fictional unit of measurement created by Donald Knuth in issue 33 of Mad Magazine.  Similarly, I weigh 2,204 blintz (calculated, of course, using the standard definition of blintz as the mass of one ngogn of halavah).

Google calculator contains several other well-known gags for nerds. You can use Google to determine:

Or try the main Google page in Klingon, Hacker, Elmer Fudd or Bork, Bork, Bork!

[via Google Blogoscoped]

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The Road to Easy Street is KY-256

Posted by Fred on January 10, 2008

Inspired by this post at Google Blogoscoped, I had some fun with Google Maps.

It’s 1,013 miles from Purgatory to Heaven

purgatory-to-heaven.png

…But only 928 miles from Purgatory to Hell:

purgatory-to-hell.png

Astronomers tell us that on average Venus is 75 million miles closer to the sun than Mars is.  But you can drive from Mars to Venus in less than two hours:

mars-to-venus.png

Lucifer’s fall covered 1,202 miles from Heaven to Earth:

heaven-to-earth.png

Finally, do you need to find the road from Poverty to Easy Street? Look in McLean County, Kentucky (you won’t have to travel far)…

poverty-to-easy-street.png

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Another Lesson: How to Turn Public Into Sort of Private in Google Reader

Posted by Fred on December 28, 2007

Are you among those who think Google has invaded your privacy by publicly sharing the items you have elected to publicly share via Reader?  As you know, I think the whole thing’s a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing (other than that many people are idiots).  Google has suggested a workaround for those who want to kinda, sorta share items. Use tags instead.  Here.s how to do it:

Step 1: Create a new tag (aka folder) for items you want to kinda, sorta share.  Google doesn’t make it easy to create a new tag, but one way to do it is to click the Edit tags button at the bottom of an item in Reader. If it’s a post with no tags, type one and click save.  If it’s a post with one or more tags, add a new one to the end (separate tags with commas):

tags1.png

Step 2: Click on Settings, then Tags.  Find the tag you just created and click on the icon next to the word Public to change the tag from Private to Public:

tags2.png

Step 3: You’ve now created a kinda, sorta shared items list that acts like the old Shared Items functionality. You can click to view the page or email the link to your (real) friends:

tags3.png

Step 4: You’re done. You now have a page that your (real) friends can see if you tell them the URL, or they can subscribe to the feed in their RSS reader of choice.  It’s still not private or anonymous, but you can feel kinda, sorta secure in your newfound Googley obfuscation:

tags4.png

To add new items to your kinda, sorta shared page, just click Edit Tags instead of Share.

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Today’s Lesson: Public Doesn’t Mean Private, Even at Google

Posted by Fred on December 26, 2007

Google recently combined some of the functionality of Google Talk and Google Reader, making it possible for items you’ve chosen to share via Reader to automatically show up on the feeds list of your friends who also use Reader.  Here’s how Google describes it:

So, we’ve linked up Reader with Google Talk (also known as chat in Gmail) to make your shared items visible to your friends from Google Talk. Once you’ve logged into Reader and been notified of the change, these friends will be able to see your shared items in the Reader left-hand navigation area under “Friends’ shared items”. We’ve provided an option to clear your shared items in case you don’t want your friends to see what you’ve shared in the past. We’ve also added a Settings page so you can choose which friends you see and invite friends who aren’t yet sharing to try it out.

And here’s what it looks like (I don’t have a lot of Google-style “friends” because I tend to think social networking is kind of useless):

gr_shared.png

This feature really has people up in arms, with lots of loose comparisons to Facebook’s ill-fated beacon feature being thrown about.  Reader users in the Google Group thread announcing the feature call it “the worst ‘feature’ [Google has]ever introduced” and “a major privacy problem.”  Scoble says that Google screwed up and needs to introduce granular privacy controls as soon as possible. Mashable’s running a poll asking if the new feature violates privacy (although currently “not a privacy problem” is beating “hands off my data” fairly handily). TechCrunch says “there is a creepy surveillance aspect to this that might also turn some people off, or keep them from sharing anything at all.” Slashdot readers are doing what Slashdot readers do, and overreacting to everything.

reader_icons.pngI just can’t see what the issue is.  A month ago, if you clicked the Share icon on one of your feed items, it got added to a page that anybody with a web browser could read, or anybody with an RSS reader could add as a feed. Now, if you click the Share icon, it gets added to a page that anybody with a web browser can read, creates a feed that anybody with an RSS reader can subscribe to, and adds a link to your shared items for the subset of people who (a) are your “friends” as Google Talk defines them and (b) also use Google Reader.  Google certainly defines friend more broadly than I do - although Tyler is probably a good person and fun to have a beer with, I “know” him only because we exchanged a couple of e-mails a year ago. The people on my Google friends list who I actually care about don’t use Google Reader.  But your shared items have always been public to the world.

The problem for Google seems to stem from two things.  First, Google provided some modicum of privacy through obscurity by obfuscating the shared items URL - Scoble’s is http://www.google.com/reader/shared/14480565058256660224, which is hardly obvious.  But privacy through obscurity is no more private than security through obscurity is secure, so the idea that shared items used to be private but now are not is kind of silly.  Second, people are idiots.  Google should know this, and should have baked in privacy controls that really didn’t do anything but made people feel better anyway.  They already half did this - I can hide items shared by my friends but can’t hide my shared items from my friends.

Ultimately, however, people are still idiots. Don’t click a button labeled “Share” without expecting the item to be, well, shared.  Don’t use a shared item feature as something it is not, such as a way to “back up” RSS feeds (all you’re doing is duplicating one bit of bits on a Google server as another bit of bits on a Google server).  I love privacy as much as the next guy, but the idea that you ever had an expectation of privacy in the Google shared items feature is just silly.  This isn’t at all like Beacon.

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Free App Friday: Fizz Weather

Posted by Fred on December 21, 2007

fizz_faf.png

Today’s free application at Handango is Fizz Weather for Smartphone.  This is a $16.95 value for, well, free.  Features include 7 day full forecasts, 2 day forecasts, 6 hourly intervals, and current conditions for 58,000 cities worldwide.  You can also get weather maps that you can zoom and pan, ski reports, airport delays and weather alerts (US only).  You can access all this information from your home screen or via an application.  I used Fizz Traveller on my Blackjack and found it useful - Fizz Weather provides more weather information, while Traveller provides basic weather info (forecasts only - no current conditions) plus alarms, currency conversion, to-do lists, etc.

The one downside I ran into with Traveller was that there were lots of times that weather information for a location was unavailable.  This is undoubtedly a problem with Fizz’s upstream weather data provider, CustomWeather. In all, it’s a nice piece of software, and a good alternative to paying AT&T a monthly fee for MyCast Weather, which comes installed in the Applications folder by default. I have a religious objection to paying AT&T for the services they try to push, and this includes MyCast ($3.99/month), TeleNav ($9.99/month) and XM Radio Mobile ($8.99/month).  You can get most of the same functionality for free by using Fizz Weather, Windows Live Search or Google Maps, and XStreamXM Mobile.

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What Should Google Mobile Do Next? Fix the Broken Stuff.

Posted by Fred on December 20, 2007

Judi Sohn at Web Worker Daily wants to know What Should Google Mobile Do Next?

As Google expands their supported platforms and applications in the mobile space, what do you want them to tackle next? Sync for Windows Mobile calendar? Gmail contact syncing? Stand-alone Reader or Docs? More iPhone-friendly browser applications?

To paraphrase the comment I left over there - should Google introduce new mobile products? God no. They should fix the ones they already have, most of which are broken in some way (other than the ones for the JesusPhone):

  • Gmail introduced IMAP support, which in theory should allow you to keep the messaging application on your phone and the web application in sync.  Unfortunately, on Windows Mobile it’s horribly, horribly broken.  HTML messages just show up as message headers with empty message bodies. Google knows it’s broken, they’ve known for over a month, and they haven’t said anything other than “Windows Mobile is not supported.”
  • An alternative would be the Gmail java application, which does a lot of neat things like prefetching messages for speedy access.  Unfortunately, on AT&T the application is unusable, thanks to the crippled java implementation AT&T uses to promote its own service offerings.  This isn’t Google’s fault, but they could easily fix it by either (a) releasing a signed java application, which would get around the security restriction (what Nokia ended up doing to get Widsets to work on the e62) or (b) releasing a native Windows Mobile application (like they did with Maps).  At the very least, Google should acknowledge the issue and explain what the problem is.
  • The new beta of the Maps application has a cool feature called My Location, which uses cell tower location to provide a rough GPS-like functionality for non-GPS phones.  Great if it works, but many handsets just say “location temporarily unavailable.”  The Blackjack and the Q are two primary examples.  Each of these devices does report location to the OS, which some applications are able to use (i.e. PhoneAlarm).  Google apparently doesn’t like the data the phone provides.  Again, this is not entirely Google’s fault, but they could fix it, if they wanted to.
  • The last time I used it, the Google Reader mobile site crashed Pocket IE any time you tried to mark all items as read.  The Q9h comes with Opera Mobile, which seems to work OK.  Opera Mini also works OK, although it suffers from the same problem Gmail does and is unusable on AT&T phones.  Google Reader also doesn’t play nice with Opera Mini - keyboard shortcuts don’t work.

It bears repeating that these problems are not necessarily Google’s fault.  Other mail applications can deal with Gmail’s non-standard IMAP implementation, for example.  But the mobile world is what it is, and if Google is going to play in the mobile space, they should figure out a way to make their applications work properly.

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Google Chart API

Posted by Fred on December 10, 2007

Here’s a chart showing people’s reaction upon hearing about the Google Chart API:

Created with the Google Chart API, of course.  The basic functionality is pretty easy.  The pie chart above uses the base URL plus the following parameters:

  • cht=p3 - this designates the chart type as a 3-D pie chart.
  • chco=0000FF - use interpolated shades of blue (hex code for the base blue shade being 0000FF) for the chart color
  • chd=s:U9KCH - this is the chart data.  Simple encoding lets you use data points up to 61. A-Z represent 0-25. a - z represent 26-51. 0-9 is 52-61.  You can encode much higher numbers using text or extended encoding.
  • chs=425×150 - make the chart 450 pixels wide and 150 pixels tall.  Some fiddling with this is necessary to make sure the labels look right.
  • chl=Cool!|API?+What?|Dork!|I+Like+Pie|Is+This+Thing+On? - these are the chart labels. Use plus signs for spaces, separate each label with a pipe (|), and put the labels in the same order as the chart data.

It took longer to explain it than it did to create it.  Usage restrictions are somewhat tight - this image can only be loaded 50,000 times, which is not a problem for me, but could be if you have a lot of traffic.  To be useful, you really need to create the URL programmatically, but back when I used to use a WordPress plugin to create a weight chart, the Google API would have been handy.

[via Garett Rogers, among others]

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Google is taking over the mobile world (kinda, if you’re not using WM)

Posted by Fred on December 5, 2007

Scoble says that Google is taking over the mobile world, and wants to know if you are getting sucked in too.  As I said in a previous post, I like Google’s mobile offerings and I use Google’s mobile offerings, but virtually all of them have serious problems under Windows Mobile on my Blackjack.  HTML messages under Gmail IMAP are blank.  Google Reader still crashes the default browser if you try to mark all messages as read.  The My Location feature in Google Maps doesn’t work.  Now I see that not only does it not work, it will never work on the Blackjack, Moto Q or Treo 700W, supposedly because these phones do not “support the APIs (application programming interfaces) Google requires to find cell towers.” Perhaps this is a problem with the hardware, but PhoneAlarm SP reports some sort of location information (Settings >> Profile Extras >> Options >> Location).  Right now, I’m at 10800-10018, but I have no idea what that means.

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Verizon Embraces Google’s Android, Kinda

Posted by Fred on December 4, 2007

Reports suggest that not only will Verizon Wireless embrace Android, but that Google’s mobile OS initiative played a role in the carrier’s decision to (kinda) open its network:

While Sprint Nextel (S) and T-Mobile (DT) were among the 34 charter members of this Google-led “Open Handset Alliance,” the two biggest U.S. carriers, AT&T (T) and Verizon Wireless, were notably absent. “To get into that press release really didn’t do anything,” says McAdam. “We needed to understand the details of that operating system.”When Verizon executives and engineers examined Android’s software tool kit, however, they were impressed. “Clearly the Android system gives a lot of developers the opportunity to develop applications for a wide range of handsets,” says McAdam. Not only did the company decide to support Android, but McAdam says the new platform was a key influence in adopting open access. “Android really facilitated this move,”says McAdam.

As with all things Verizon, time will tell.  Does this mean Verizon will permit Android handsets on its network via the metered-use, semi-open plan to be introduced in 2008, or will Verizon offer Android to its walled-in masses?  If the former, it’s not even news.  If the latter, it may be good for customers, especially if the OS offers a compelling alternative to the iPhone.

Mashable likes the news and thinks it will encourage AT&T to join the party:

With Verizon’s move, AT&T becomes the only major US carrier that has not yet announced plans to support Android. With the variety of devices and applications the OS will eventually allow the other carriers to offer, it seems like AT&T will ultimately have its hand forced in joining the alliance. The longer they wait, the further behind they will be when devices and apps start making their way to the public next year.

As a GSM carrier, there’s little AT&T could do to stop Android, as using an Android phone on AT&T would be as simple as swapping a SIM.  It seems unlikely that AT&T would put much muscle behind Android, however.  The open source nature of the OS and ease of adding third-party applications goes against AT&T’s business model of removing features and crippling functionality to protect revenue streams like AT&T Music and TeleNav.  It would be too easy to use VOIP on Android, and the specs aren’t going to allow AT&T to remove GPS and Wi-Fi or cripple Java, like AT&T does in its other phones.  Eventually, market pressure will force AT&T to be more open, but not yet.

TechCrunch is far more skeptical:

Talk is cheap when you are trying to come across as all open on the eve of the biggest wireless spectrum auction in a decade. But if it means more support for Android and open networks in general, that is a good thing.

The BusinesWeek story is a big wet kiss that lovingly details Verizon’s seriousness about opening up its network. (The CEO keeps a list with him always of why openness is important to Verizon. Crumpled. In his pocket. The thing is practically near his heart!). Sorry, but the whole thing smells like a well-timed plant. We are still waiting for Verizon to officially join the Open Handset Alliance. And if it really were embracing openness, it wouldn’t treat open devices and open apps like second-class citizens, separate and at a safe distance from its 64 million subscribers.

That’s a lot closer to the truth.  Verizon isn’t really opening its network to new apps and devices.  The garden wall is still intact; they’ve just added a little plot of scraggly corn and pitiful tomatoes outside the wall., for which you can pay through the nose, but which allow the carrier to say “look, produce for the masses!”

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Friday Rant: Why Won’t Google Make It’s Applications Work With Windows Mobile?

Posted by Fred on November 30, 2007

Let’s start with a confession.  I’ve bought into the Google ecosystem big-time.  I use Gmail as my primary personal e-mail account.  I use Google Apps for the email on the ochsenhirt.org domain.  I use Google Reader for RSS and Google Maps for directions.  I haven’t yet jumped on board the web apps bandwagon for word processing and spreadsheets, so the added features in Zoho haven’t been enough - on the few occasions I’ve done a spreadsheet or quick document online, it’s been on Google Docs.  Plus Google for search, of course.  With all that said, Google is really starting to bother me.  Specifically, the way that Google’s mobile offerings work with Windows Mobile.  Or rather, the way that they don’t work.  Granted, many of the problems are at least as much the fault of AT&T and/or Microsoft, but Google could make them work better.   So here in no particular order are some glitches in the Google Matrix:

gmail_imap.png1. Gmail via IMAP results in blank message bodies

When Google introduced IMAP for Gmail, it sounded great.  Finally, I could access Gmail on the Blackjack without using the java application.  You could always use POP, but that resulted in mailboxes that were horribly out of sync.  Plus, you lost the benefit of Gmail’s tagging system.  IMAP promised to be better.  And it is.  Via IMAP, I can grab messages on demand or automatically, using the same messaging application I use for Exchange Direct Push.  Not so fast there, fella.  Most, but not all, HTML messages show up with blank message bodies.  WM5 doesn’t do HTML mail, so I didn’t expect the HTML to come through intact, but I should still get the plain text.  Apparently, Gmail’s IMAP implementation isn’t reporting certain optional fieldsGoogle apparently didn’t bother to test IMAP on WM.  WM6 doesn’t seem to be any better, so unless a third-party app like Flexmail can fix it, or Google fixes it, IMAP on the Blackjack is fairly useless except as a glorified Gmail Notifier.  Some have reported success using AT&T’s Xpress Mail, but I have no interest in encouraging AT&T to push its own services.

gmail.png2. The Gmail java application doesn’t work in AT&T’s broken Java

This one is clearly not Google’s fault, but Google could fix it.  AT&T intentionally crippled the Java implementation on the Blackjack, the 8525 and the Tilt (and probably other recent phones like the Moto Q Global and Blackjack II, but I don’t know for sure).  If you try to run an unsigned Java midlet on the Blackjack, it will ask for permission every time it needs to send data to the internet.  This is not part of the J2ME specification, and is not part of the stock midlet manager AT&T uses.  They intentionally crippled it by removing the option to grant permission on a per-session basis.  What does this mean?  It means you have to click OK many, many times before you ever reach the Gmail inbox, and you have to continue to grant permission every time you open or send a message.  That makes the application completely unusable.  The same is true, incidentally, of the Google Maps java application, Opera Mini 4  and anything else that accesses the net.

AT&T did this, they say, for security purposes, but that’s a load of crap.  They did it to avoid cannibalizing the market for their own services.  If you can use the Gmail application, you don’t need Xpress Mail.  If you can use Opera Mini, you won’t be impressed that the Q9 Global includes Opera Mobile.  If you can use Google Maps, maybe you don’t pay $10 a month for AT&T’s GPS service.  There is, however, a workaround.  By installing another midlet manager, such as IBM’s J9 or Esmertec’s Jbed, you can install java midlets that offer per-session permissions.  That shouldn’t be necessary, however, and Google could fix the problem by either (a) offering a signed java application or (b) offering the Gmail application as a native WM application, the way they did with Google Maps.  All is not well in third party midlet manager land, however…

3. The Gmail java midlet crashes Jbed

Among the alternative midlet managers, I like Jbed better, because it renders Opera Mini better than does J9.  Unfortunately, if you try to run Gmail under Jbed, it crashes upon sign-in, and does it every time.  Therefore, my Blackjack now contains three midlet managers, the stock AT&T one that I never use, Jbed for Opera Mini and J9 for Gmail. If Google isn’t going to fix Gmail for all the AT&T customers, they could at least make it work under the workaround.

4. The Google Reader mobile site crashes Pocket IE

Google hasn’t introduced a Google Reader Mobile application, but there is a quite usable mobile site for Reader users.  You can view all items, or view individual subscriptions or individual tags (which most people, including me, use like categories).   So far, so good.  Unfortunately, if you try to use the Mark These Items As Read link, which should mark the nine items on-screen as read, all it does is close Pocket Internet Explorer.  That makes it unusable for me, as I don’t want to open each item individually when I’m reading it on the Blackjack.  Opera Mini works just fine, so this is some sort of PIE issue, but it’s still a pain.  Although there’s probably a work around for this, too, under Jbed Opera Mini won’t respond to keypad number shortcuts, so I can’t push # to mark all items as read.  So even the Reader workaround needs a workaround.

maps.png5. The new Google Maps Find My Location feature doesn’t work

The new version of Google Maps Mobile includes a neat feature that attempts to use cell tower triangulation to provide a rough location for devices without GPS.  Unfortunately, on my AT&T Blackjack, GMM just says my location is currently unavailable.  Lots of other people are reporting the same problem.  I have no idea whether this is a Windows Mobile problem, an AT&T problem or a Google problem, but it appears they didn’t do adequate testing with WM devices.

With the announcement of Android and the Open Handset Initiative, along with the customized Google apps on the iPhone, it’s doubtful Google is going to work too hard fixing these problems.  That’s unfortunate, as I have zero interest in the Apple product, and Android is a long way away.  There’s no good alternative, but Google deserves criticism for the way their products interact with WM.

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